How I’m Learning to Be a Better Listener in 2026

As we move into 2026, I’m not chasing louder goals or bigger platforms. I’m pursuing something quieter and harder: becoming a better listener.

Not the polite kind. Not the smile-and-nod kind. The kind that actually stays present.

I’ve realized how often I’m listening with an agenda. I want to help. I want to encourage. I want to offer Scripture, wisdom, or a solution. All good things. But sometimes those good things get in the way of really hearing someone’s heart.

Scripture has been gently checking me on this.

“Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.” James 1:19

Quick to listen. Not quick to respond. Not quick to fix. Just quick to listen.

When someone is talking, what’s hardest for you?

• Not interrupting
• Not trying to fix it
• Staying fully present

The first thing I’m practicing is slowing my inner voice. You know the one. The voice that wants to explain, correct, encourage, or relate everything back to your own experience. That voice means well, but it doesn’t always help. When someone is talking, I’m learning to stay focused on their last sentence instead of my next thought. It sounds simple, but it’s surprisingly hard. And it changes everything.

I’m also learning to listen for what people are feeling, not just what they’re saying. Most people don’t come right out and say, “I’m hurt,” or “I’m scared,” or “I feel alone.” They tell stories. They talk around it. When I pay attention to tone, pauses, or what keeps coming up, I start to hear the heart behind the words. And sometimes the most helpful thing I can say is, “That sounds heavy,” or “That had to be hard.” No fixing required.

Another shift for me is asking fewer questions, but better ones. Not questions that feel like cross-examination. Questions that feel like an open door. “What was that like for you?” or “What do you need right now?” Those questions say, I’m here. I’m not rushing you.

And then there’s the hardest lesson of all: resisting the urge to fix.

I’m learning that presence is powerful. Silence can be holy. Not every conversation needs advice. Sometimes people just need to feel safe enough to say the thing out loud.

Even my body language matters. Am I distracted? Reaching for my phone? Half-listening? Real listening requires my whole self, not just my ears.

Before conversations end, I try to reflect on what I heard. Not perfectly. Just honestly. “What I’m hearing is…” That simple step builds trust and clears confusion.

Here’s the truth: becoming a better listener will cost you ego and control. It will slow you down. It will make you uncomfortable sometimes.

But it will deepen your relationships in ways talking never could.

That’s the work I’m committing to in 2026. Quiet growth. Intentional presence. Listening like it matters. Because it does.

What distracts you most from listening well, and what would it look like to lay that down? Comment below.

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Janette Owens is the founder of Be Inspired For Real, a faith-based platform that helps believers grow through uplifting content, community, and Christian life coaching. She is also the author of A Swan Song, an intimate collection of poems and short stories. Janette lives in Olive Branch, Mississippi.