No Emergency Contact? What This Waiting Season Is Building in You
- Janette Owens
- 13 hours ago
- 6 min read
Updated: 16 minutes ago
A couple of weeks ago, I was sitting in the doctor’s office, working through the usual stack of forms (new year, new update), when I came to the line that asked for an emergency contact. I froze for a moment, pen in hand. As a single, aging, and childless woman not currently in a relationship, it made me pause. Who would I put down? That one simple question drove a stake in my heart and felt oddly heavy. It stirred something more profound, a reminder of what it feels like not to have "your person" to call in times of need.
This is not a "woe-is-me" statement, but if you’ve ever felt that ache, you know it goes deeper than a name on a form. It can stir up loneliness, old disappointments, or questions you don't always say out loud.
But here's what I know for sure: that blank space doesn't define your value or your future. God has a way of filling empty spaces with His presence. Even in seasons of waiting, He reminds us we are seen, loved, and never forgotten. Let's talk.
The Hidden Weight of Not Having “Your Person”
This world often views singlehood as a form of freedom, and in many ways, it is. But what is rarely mentioned is the hidden weight of not having a lifelong partner. It is the silent question: Who would show up for me?
The Bible reminds us in Ecclesiastes 4:9-10: “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.”
That verse hits differently when you have never had anyone to list, never had a loving hand to reach for, never had a voice saying, “I’ve got you.” Over time, it can chip away at confidence. It can make you question your worth or wonder if God skipped over your prayer request.
I get it. Really, I do!
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 can sting when your reality looks nothing like it. But maybe it’s also a reminder that God knows how much we crave connection. He wired us for it. And even if you haven’t had that hand to hold yet, it doesn’t mean you’re forgotten.
Sometimes the “I’ve got you” comes through God Himself, or through unexpected people who show up and love you well. It may not look like the picture you’ve been praying for, but it’s still proof that you are seen, valued, and not alone.
The Joy of Finding Your Person
For those who finally meet their person, there is a joy that words cannot contain. To go from writing “friend” or “relative” on that line to writing “husband” or “wife” is more than a legal update. right? It's a soul update. It means you have someone who has chosen to be your person in every sense of the word.
It's not just about the paper. It's also about the covering. The safety. The feeling that someone in this world is tied to you, not just by chance but by covenant. That joy is holy. That joy is healing.
And when it happens, it feels like the world shifts a little. Every day moments suddenly carry more weight because you have someone to share them with. Laughter becomes richer, prayers become stronger, and even challenges feel lighter when faced together. To know that someone has chosen you and continues to choose you daily is a gift beyond words.
It reflects God’s heart for companionship, and it’s a reminder that love, when rooted in covenant, is one of the sweetest glimpses of heaven we’ll ever taste on earth. As Proverbs 18:22 declares, “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.” That kind of union is not just about romance. It's about God’s favor, God’s design, and the blessing of being truly seen and cherished.
However, if you haven't found your person yet, take heart. God’s favor is not limited to marriage. His love covers you, His Spirit strengthens you, and His blessings are still alive in your life. Joy is not reserved for couples only. You can walk in purpose, peace, and fulfillment right where you are, trusting that God’s goodness reaches you in every season.
What It Does to the Psyche
Conversely, if you have never had a lasting relationship, it can feel like a missing piece of identity. You watch others celebrate anniversaries, post "boo'ed up" selfies, or share stories of how their spouse prayed for them during a hard season. You wonder, What does it feel like to be seen like that? What does it feel like to be chosen and kept?
It’s true, those questions can pierce deeply. But remember that being seen and being chosen isn’t limited to marriage. God already sees you in ways more profound than any spouse could ever notice. You are chosen daily by the One who knew you while you were still in your mother's womb. He knit you together with intention.
And while the longing may still be there, it doesn’t take away from the truth that your life is precious, purposeful, and worth celebrating now. Sometimes the fulfillment comes not in the form we pictured, but in the unexpected ways God shows up to remind us we are loved.
Insight and Ways to Overcome
So, how do you live fully when you don't have “your person”? Here are four suggestions:
Anchor in God’s Love. Romans 8:38-39 tells us that nothing can separate us from the love of God. That truth doesn’t fill the empty seat at the table, but it does remind us we are never unloved, never abandoned, never forgotten.
Build Community. We may not all marry, but we all need people. Surround yourself with friends who will answer the phone, pray with you, and stand in the gap for you. Sometimes family is chosen, not just born.
Work on Wholeness. Singleness does not make you half. You are a whole person. Invest in healing, personal growth, and purpose. When you know who you are, whether in a relationship or not, you walk with confidence.
Redefine Legacy. Marriage is not the only way to leave a mark. You can build legacy through mentoring, ministry, creativity, and the lives you impact.
If You Never “Connect” with Your Person
This is the part most people don't want to face. What if marriage never comes? What if the love story you prayed for doesn’t arrive in this lifetime?
Jesus Himself lived single. Paul lived single. Yet their lives were filled with power, meaning, and impact. Paul even wrote in 1 Corinthians 7:7, “I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God.”
Maybe your story will not be husband or wife.
Maybe your story will be mentor, encourager, builder, healer, teacher.
Maybe your emergency contact line will not hold a spouse’s name, but your life will hold the fingerprints of lives you touched and souls you lifted.
Choosing Peace
At some point, you make peace.
Peace with the life you have.
Peace with God’s plan even when it doesn’t look like the fairy tale you expected.
Peace with the idea that your worth is not measured by a last name change or a ring on your finger.
You can cry about it. You can be honest about it. And then, you can also live boldly in it.
Because you are not less without a partner. You are still God’s masterpiece. You are still whole. You are still loved beyond measure.
As Isaiah 54:5 declares, “For your Maker is your husband—the Lord Almighty is his name.” That may not take away every pain, but it can anchor you in truth: you have always been loved, always been chosen, and always been His.
My Closing Thoughts
At the end of the day, the ache of not having “your person” is real. It's okay to admit it hurts, and it's OK to long for more. But don’t let the absence of a spouse or partner convince you that you are less.
Your life has meaning, your story has weight, and your heart still carries a purpose that matters deeply to God. While you wait for love in human form, you can rest in the love that never fails. And sometimes, that steady love opens the door to community, friendship, and purpose that fills places we didn’t even know were empty.
Your Turn: Have you ever felt the ache of not having “your person”? Or have you found joy in God’s love even without a spouse? Share your thoughts in the comments below. Let’s encourage one another in this journey.
Janette Owens is the founder of Be Inspired For Real, a faith-based platform offering encouragement, reflection, and inspiration for everyday life. Janette is also the author of A Swan Song, an intimate collection of poems and short stories. She lives in Olive Branch, Mississippi, and continues to create content that inspires faith in real life.